Pet Peeves at Pitti Uomo

As everyone reading this almost-certainly knows, last week was Pitti Uomo.  The internet was flooded with pictures from pros and amateurs alike, and everyone is gushing over the dozen or so peacocks that dominate the menswear blogosphere.  While I could jump on that bandwagon, I think the others have got it covered.  Instead I’ll be the tedious one to point out the things that drove me crazy.

Forced Footwear

I spend most of summer sockless.  Penny loafers, driving mocks, and even occasionally a pair of brogues get my favorite foam insoles instead of socks.  Pesko is right on point.  But Shell Chukka Boots?  Really?  The leather is thick, oily, and wears warm, so wearing it in the summertime is really the dubious gesture in question here.  Suede desert boots make some sense sockless in the heat of summer, but these just look contrived to me.  A rebellion purely for its own sake.  You don’t see guys walking around in winter coats with rolled up sleeves in the middle of July, do you?

No offense meant to Mr. Wooster of course.  Although his style is nothing like my own, and I wouldn’t dress like him even if I could, I do respect him.  That jacket is great, and the level of confidence those shorts convey is something I’ll admit I’m very envious of.  Even the fun shirt is spot on.  Just loose the boots.

Clip-On Braces

Braces are great.  I’ve only recently started wearing them, but I’m sold hook, line, and sinker.  But not with low-rise trousers, and certainly not with little metal clips.  The point of braces is to “float” your trousers up around your natural waist without having to cinch them there with a belt.  When you’re wearing skin-tight denim or chinos, something I’ll avoid ranting about in and of itself for now, braces are totally useless.  Totally.  Your trousers don’t need keeping up, especially since “up” is a term I’m using generously here.

Then come the clips.  If someone asked you to start clamping binder clips onto your shirtcuffs or to staple the quarters of your favorite brogues together, you’d balk without a doubt.  Yet for some reason, otherwise well-dressed gents have no problem ripping at their carefully-constructed waistbands all day long.  Sorry guys, I just don’t get it.

Camo

There are great patterns out there, and camo is not one of them.  Butcher stripes, glen check, gun club, even tasteful polka dots are all regular features in great menswear, but I just can’t get on the camo trend.  It always rings of some false pretension at a muscular masculinity.  If you’re actually in the military, or were at any point, I’m willing to make a concession.  Or if you’re in a blind somewhere in the woods and in the company of more game than people.  Otherwise, please gentlemen, leave the camo at the cabin.

 

Photographs by Tommy Ton for GQ