What I Won’t Be Wearing this Fall

Everyone, including myself, is posting their “What to Wear this Fall/Winter” guides this time of year. More opinions and more information benefit everyone.  But I’m going to do something a little different. Here are the things I definitely WILL NOT be sporting in the next few months.  Or probably ever.  Let’s not get personal.  If I pan your go-to, take it with a grain of salt.  I’m purposefully not pulling pictures of negative examples.  No need for that kind of crap.  To each their own, alright?

The Turtleneck

I just can’t do it.  I really wish I could, but it just doesn’t work.  Working out on a regular basis and eating better-than-poorly keep me in what I consider pretty decent shape.  But pull on that turtleneck and I become a seven-chinned monstrosity.  It’s almost impressive, really.  If the roll works for you, really, go for it.  Take Mr. Cortina above as an example.  Just know if you’re going to wear it under a sport coat, you had better carry it right.  There is a very, very fine line between McQueen cool and Eighties fool.

The Puffer Vest

I can’t look in the mirror without wincing.  A quilted vest, maybe.  A tweed vest, maybe.  But I don’t care how slim or sleek a puffer is, whether it’s made of flannel, selvedge denim, or some other “cool” cloth, or how sweet the hand-stitching is.  Might as well thrown on some crampons and grab a belay rope to hold my keys.  The recent Men of Habit/Unabashedly Prep shoot is the only time I’ve ever looked at a puffer and thought “Maybe…”  They make it look so cool in theory, but I picture myself in the same get-up and can’t for the life of me figure out where I’d go dressed like that.  A photoshoot maybe?

The Not-Socks

Summer = no socks.  I wear socks probably less than once a week from April to September, but when the weather cools off I put on socks.  It just makes sense.  This time of year, skipping the hose can be a good way to sneak in some too-warm clothing and keep yourself cool, but when the highs are barely hitting 50 or less put on some damn socks.  I know, I know, its wayyyy cooler to show off your ankles – which for most people start to look less-than-appealing as summer disappears – but I promise you won’t look like a square just because you put some on.  Really, it’s ok.  Embrace, Enjoy, Repeat.